Time has taught me something very valuable, something that I should have been aware since the very beginning. That I was just a fragile soul, easily influenced by the opinions and perspectives of the society. That I am prone to please and be pleased easily.
Yesterday's night out was a wake up call to all the questions that have been lingering in my mind. One of my friends has decided to ber-'hijrah'. I'm not going to say bertudung but more towards covering your aurah. Because only bertudung and covering aurah memang dua perkara yang berbeza sangat. Kamu mungkin bertudung tapi tidak menutup aurat sepenuhnya.
So she said to me, macam mana tiba-tiba dia terbuka pintu hati nak berhijrah. She was so touched knowing that all her best friends, selama ini mendoakan and always, always reminded her what is the best for her, what should she do and how to attain a peaceful way of life. Dalam kata lain, mereka selalu berdakwah pada dia. And she said, she was so grateful to have such friends in her life, the ones who know what's best for her and membimbing dia ke arah kebaikan rather than well, ignoring it?
I was stunned as well. Because, there was I, sitting in front of her listening to every word she uttered, and it got me thinking, I am one of her best friends as well, we have been friends for like 10 years approximately? But have I ever done the same thing like what her new best friends did all this while? I tried to recall my past but to no avail and I didn't get the answer as I was not sure myself.
But of course I am happy for her as she has found friends who helped her to change for a better self. And it got me thinking for the whole day. Aku sumpah sayang kawan-kawan aku. Because I know, I am jahil, taklah baik pun, banyak kelemahan and sometimes I am not sure myself what do I want in my life.
When I was younger, I was influenced to do things which I know are ultimately wrong. Sebab sebenarnya, culture shock. I was practically skema and such a nerd. So bila dapat kawan cool I was called to do cool things which I assumed were cool when well they were obviously not.
Fast forward to the present, I am a happy person. Much happier than I was. Yang paling sweet, kawan-kawan yang dulu sama-sama jahiliah pun berubah sekali. In fact, they are much better than me. Jadi, don't look down to those who you claim tak alim lah rosaklah, because once they change, they can even be better Muslim than you are.
It is indeed true that you become like the people you spend the most time with. So you have to choose carefully. I am thankful for the friends that I have, that have taught me many things and guided me to be a better person. Those who have often reminded me, jangan lupa sembahyang. Yang ingatkan how I used to wear tight clothes and please throw away all my tight clothes. Yang ingatkan how I should be diligent with the words I choose when I speak. Yang ingatkan one should always be grateful, humble and cautious. Yang ingatkan every single thing sebab lumrah manusia isn't it? We all need reminders. Sebab truthfully, iman pun tak kuat. Senipis kulit bawang saja.
Tapi, paling tak boleh blah. Masa dinner dulu, I wanted to look nice. So I thought I'd like to get a facial treatment and eventually have my brows threaded. Sebab there was this time dulu aku rasa kening yang dibentuk sangat cantik so I got them done, and aku rasa aku cantiklah padahal tak cantik pun. Takde beza pun sebenarnya. So I wanna do it again sebab dah lama tak buat. And my male best friend. YES MALE EH. MALE. Dia pi cakap, "Tak payahlah, apa bendalah kau ni. Dah lah berdosa lepastu nak dapat dosa free-free sebab tu je. Kita ni bukannya banyak pahala, so apa yang boleh diavoid tu, avoid lah,"
Bergenang mataku. You know who you are. Part yang "Kita ni bukannya banyak pahala, so apa yang boleh diavoid tu, avoid lah," tu memang terngiang-ngiang tiap kali aku hampir nak buat jahat. Thank you friend.
But yes of course, it's not like kau kena harapkan kawan kau saja untuk make you a better person. You yourself have to be strong inside. Janganlah blame orang untuk benda yang kau sendiri buat. And if you love your friends too, do what a good friend is supposed to do rather than lihat and ignore.